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How to gain your confidence back


Having self-confidence can lead to greater success and happiness in life. Research has found that having healthy self-esteem, the thoughts, feelings and beliefs we hold about ourselves, can reduce the risk of developing depression. Fortunately, there are a number of ways you How to gain your confidence back regain confidence in yourself in general and in specific situations, such when you're in a relationship or at work.

Expert Co-Authored Why choose wikiHow? When you see the green expert checkmark on a wikiHow article, you can trust that it has How to gain your confidence back carefully reviewed by a qualified expert. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in Take stock of yourself. If you chronically lack confidence, it's probably very easy for How to gain your confidence back to catalogue your faults and failures, but what about acknowledging your positives?

For most people, this is a lot more challenging. Researchers have found that self-esteem is How to gain your confidence back of both cognitive factors, such as positive memories you have of yourself and your behavior, and self-evaluation, or how positively you evaluate your current attitudes and behaviors.

Grab a notebook or journal and set a timer for minutes. Journaling is a good way to continually maintain and open conversation with yourself about who you are and want to be. It's a way to prompt self-reflection and self-discovery and may help you realize things about yourself that you didn't really know. Contemplate not only what you feel, but why you feel the way you do.

Begin to understand your true self, and allow it to exist. If you're not as good at handling some things as you are at others—for example, maybe you feel confident and capable until other people are thrown into a situation, such as in a relationship or at work—acknowledging all facets of yourself is the first step to transformation.

Look back on your life and your accomplishments. Chances are that you are not giving yourself enough credit for everything that you've done throughout your life. Take some time to reflect and look back at your past glories from big How to gain your confidence back small—things that you've done that you feel proud of. This will help validate your place in the world and the value you bring to the people and society around you and, in this way, build your self-confidence.

Research shows that part of building self-esteem is having a solid schema of positive memories about your past accomplishments and abilities. If you begin to accept that you How to gain your confidence back been a bright, hopeful, confident person in the past, it becomes easier to believe that you can be amazing and do amazing things again. Keep in mind that everything should be included, from big accomplishments to the little everyday things.

Your list can include things like learning how to drive, going to college, moving into your own apartment, making a great friend, cooking a fancy meal, How to gain your confidence back a degree or diploma, getting your first "adult" job, and so on. The possibilities are endless! Return to the list periodically to add to it. You'll see that you have How to gain your confidence back to be proud of.

Focus on positive thoughts and How to gain your confidence back. Rather than get bogged down with negative thoughts, try to focus on positive, encouraging, and constructive thoughts. Remember that you are a special, one-of-a-kind person who is worthy How to gain your confidence back love and respect - from others and from yourself. Be optimistic and avoid the self-fulfilling prophecy of pessimism.

If you expect bad things, they often occur. For example, if you anticipate a presentation going poorly, it just might.

There's never a dull moment...

Tell yourself, "Even though it's going to be a challenge, I can handle this presentation. Instead, focus on what you CAN do. Be your own cheerleader. Give yourself positive encouragement and credit for the positive How to gain your confidence back you do. For example, you might note that although you're not getting all the exercise you'd like to be getting, you have been doing to the gym one extra day a week.

Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example, "My presentation might not have How to gain your confidence back perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged — which means How How to gain your confidence back gain your How to gain your confidence back back I accomplished my goal. Set goals and expectations. Write of lists of things you want to accomplish and set out to achieve these goals. For example, you might decide to volunteer more, take up a new hobby, or spend time with friends.

Make sure your goals and expectations are realistic.

We all lose confidence sometimes...

Striving for the impossible will only deflate, not enhance, self-confidence. This is unrealistic and your self-confidence will likely take a hit once you realize how How to How to gain your confidence back your confidence back away and unattainable that goal is. Setting goals that you can consciously and consistently work towards and eventually meet can help you stop the cycle of negative thinking that reduces your self confidence.

You'll see that you can set and meet goals successfully and will attain a sense of fulfillment. You could also set goals that help to you see and feel your own competencies. For example, if you feel like you want to be better informed about the world, decide that you are going to read a newspaper every day for a month. Or, say you want to empower yourself in knowing how to fix your own bike and opt to learn how to do your own tune-up.

One of the things that...

Meeting goals that address things that help you feel powerful and capable will help you feel better about yourself as a whole. Fake it 'til you make it. That old saying actually has some real value to it. Confidence doesn't happen overnight, but now that you have a good sense of who you are and what you want, you can put up a good front that will eventually translate into confidence within as well.

The very act of trying to appear confident can actually increase your confidence, as you begin to see how it affects those around you. Use your body language to project confidence.

Stand and sit with a straight back. Walk with easy, full strides. Make plenty of eye contact when you meet people, and if you're nervous, smile instead of looking away.

Studies have shown that the very act How to gain your confidence back smiling can improve your mood and make you feel How to gain your confidence back positive. This is especially true for women, who tend to speak less and with reduced assertiveness in social situations with men.

Make a concerted effort to have your voice heard in social situations; your opinion matters and you have value to add How to gain your confidence back a conversation. Remember that you can't control what anyone else thinks, feels, How to gain your confidence back does; you can only control yourself. Instead of being fearful of all of this uncertainty and your lack of control, try to How to gain your confidence back to gain your confidence back it.

Accept How to gain your confidence back the world around you is a big and uncertain place by taking a chance on something new.

Lost your mojo? Learn essential...

Whichever way you cut it, taking a few risks and trying new things is one of the best ways to rebuild your lost confidence. Strike up a conversation with someone on the bus, submit a photo or story for publication, or even ask out your secret crush. Choose something that puts you a bit outside of your comfort zone and jump in headfirst with the knowledge that your life will go on no matter the outcome.

Experiment with new activities; you might learn about talents or skills you didn't know you possessed. Maybe you take up running How to gain your confidence back and discover that you are really good at distance running, something you'd never thought of before. This can help increase your self-confidence. Artistic endeavors often help people learn how to express themselves and attain a sense of 'mastery' of a subject or skill. Lots of community centers offer free or reasonably-priced classes.

Research has shown that people who volunteer tend to feel happier and have higher self-esteem. It may seem paradoxical that to feel better about yourself you should help someone else, but science does prove indeed that feelings of social connectedness that accompany volunteering or helping others make us feel more positive about ourselves. Volunteer at a retirement home or a homeless shelter.

Get involved with your church or a ministry or a community that helps sick or poor people. Donate your time and service to a humanitarian or animal cause. Be a Big Brother or Big Sister. Clean How to gain your confidence back a local park on a community-organized How to gain your confidence back.

Like all good therapy, the...

Take care of yourself. Putting time into yourself can also help improve your self-confidence in general.

The healthier you are in mind and body, the better the How How to gain your confidence back gain your confidence back that you will be satisfied with your self. This means doing your best to How to gain your confidence back healthywhatever that may look like for you individually.

Drink water to hydrate your body. These can affect your mood and should be avoided if you're concerned about mood swings or negative emotions. Research has shown that exercise can give a real boost to self-esteem. This is because exercise causes the body How to gain your confidence back release the "happy chemicals" called endorphins.

This feeling of euphoria can be accompanied by increased positivity and energy. Try to get up to at least 30 minutes of vigorous exercise at least three times a week. At the very least, set aside time for a brisk walk every day. Make a plan to reduce the stress of your everyday life by designating time for relaxation and activities that you enjoy. Meditate, take a yoga class, garden, or do whatever activity makes you feel calm and positive.

Note that being stressed can sometimes make it easier for people to overreact or let negative feelings dominate. Let go of the idea of perfection. Perfection is an artificial notion created and proliferated by society and the media and it does a great disservice to most of us by suggesting that perfection IS attainable and the problem is How to gain your confidence back that we're not up to snuff.

Make that your new mantra. You're never going to have the perfect life, the perfect body, the perfect family, the perfect job, and so on.

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